the introduction, part 1

Welcome! First of all, thanks for taking the time to check out my page. I am Samantha, a mother of two amazing little boys, Bailey, 7 and Brendan, 5. I am married to Bryan, my husband of only 1 year and two months. Bryan and I have been together for 10 years in January, we have had a rocky road to get to where we are today. Bryan came to our little town we live in from Iowa. I, on the other hand am a hometown girl, born and raised in our little community.We had the all but normal kind of meeting, I was working in a bar and Bryan was a faithful patron. (I would later learn to love his faithfulness) He finally bit the bullet and asked me out and I obliged...

Our first date...The agenda was dinner. We took the short 10 minute trip down the interstate to the next town and talked like lifelong friends. We then decided on the fanciest restaurant in town, we were seated and began to peruse the menu. This is something we still discuss 10 years later and can always guarantee a smile...our appetizer of choice, artichoke dip. We were not prepared for the white and green substance layed out so intricately in the sourdough ring.(Only later to learn that was not the only thing we were not prepared for in the beginning of our lives together) The waitress with her crisp, white button down shirt and black slacks layed it in between us and we thanked her, and as she was walking away, we were silently daring one another to take the plunge. We then came to the 1st and thankfully not the last agreement as a couple...."at the same time...ready?" As we took our first bite the look on his face felt like the look on my face. We then decided we had tried it and that we gave it a fair shot, making a mental note to avoid artichoke dip from there on out. We then ate our dinner and could feel the warm and fuzzy feeling starting in my tummy, and getting a safe feeling and a sense of peace in my heart. After dinner, Bryan had decided that we needed to go shopping for some casual clothing since everytime I had seen him, prior to this 1st date night, he had been in his Carharts. We then drove to the nearest clothing store and I put in my fashionable opinion and he then had a 2nd pair of clothes for our 2nd night together. We parted ways that evening and at the end of that night, marking the beginning of a lifetime, we shared a kiss that is also etched into the strings of my heart always and forever. We spent every night together from there on out. This was Januar 10, 2001.

Then the journey began...

Bryan was an iron worker from Iowa who had completed his job in my hometown and was scheduled to leave for the next job which was in Florida. We sold everything we owned, loaded up our mustang and hit the road. At this time, I was only 18, my wings had spread and I was not afraid in the least, knowing Bryan was holding my wings up. We were in Florida for two weeks and decided the traveling life was not the life we wanted. We came back home to our little town and started our life together.

The first of many heart aches...

Nausea...and lots of it. I remember thinking, "surely I am not pregnant, noooo way I am pregnant." So, I mustered up the courage and decided to buy a pregnancy test, and guess what?!?! I was pregnant. I always knew I wanted to have children, and confirmed once again when my heart connected with Bryan's. I was scared to tell my parents, so we decided not to for awhile. I had called and made a doctor's appointment and was starting to adjust to the idea of being a mommy at such a young age. One Thursday morning, Bryan kissed me goodbye and headed to work. I woke up feeling icky, which seemed to be a normal thing these past few weeks, discovered I was bleeding and immediately called Bryan hysterically screaming and crying, he informed me it was time to call my mom. I called my mom and informed her of our situation. She drove home and hugged me and we cried together and went to the hospital. We had been there for awhile when Bryan showed up, ( he was working miles away from home). We were overwhelmed by emotions when the doctor finally informed us that I had miscarried. Bryan was my rock and I was the dust beneath that rock. I was confused and angry and did not know why this was happening to us. Now, looking back I know in my heart that little angel is waiting for us and we will soon be together and has played a role in making me the woman I am today. Sadness was a part of my everyday life for many, many weeks to follow. Through everything, I had Bryan there by my side and knew deep down that this too shall pass...