the introduction, part 2

Our first miracle...

Bailey Michael Pearson, born on December 5, 2002 at 5:55pm, weighing in at a whopping 8lbs, 14 1/2oz. and measuring 21 inches long. We conceived Bailey almost exactly 9 months after our miscarriage and was more than excited to start our family. Bryan and I had had many happy times together and the euphoria of holding this miracle in my arms confirmed every doubt that had ever been presented to me in the past year and a half with Bryan. We took Bailey home after 4 days and began our life as parents together. This was what I thought was the beginning of my fairy tale...

Our second miracle...

Brendan Christopher Pearson, born on September 18, 2004 at 7:38pm, weighing in at 8lbs, 8 oz and measuring 20 1/2 inches long. My water broke with Brendan on a Saturday afternoon, I was sitting my gigantor booty on our futon eating Burger King, I rocked back and forth to gain the inertia to rise up off the futon and stood and began laughing...I was convinced I had peed my pants! My sister was staying with me because Bryan was out of town fishing...(that story soon to play into the events). I proceeded to the restroom where I sat down and did my business and realized my business kept doing. It then hit me like a ton of bricks, "Tabby, my water broke!" I was unusually calm, first things first, call Bryan. I dialed his number and there was no answer. I instructed my sister to grab the bags and get Bailey ready and we will head to the hospital. She was in charge of contacting my parents and others. My goal was to get a hold of Bryan. We then loaded into the car and I am still remaining calm and I drove us to the hospital. They put me in my room and told me I was dilated to a 3, I beckoned the amazing man, AKA the anesthesiologist and prepared for my epidural. Meanwhile, I can only guess as to how many missed calls Bryan has on his phone by now and I have still yet to talk to him. They clear the room and proceed to numb my pain, easier said than done...the medicine was injected into the wrong spot in my spine and caused my blood pressure to plummet and my entire body, including m chest walls to become numb. I was in and out of consciousness and by the time they had cleaned it out of my system, I was dilated to an 8 and told I could not have any pain medication. FYI...not something you want to tell a woman who is in labor and not able to reach her husband. I cried and acted like a 4 year old and told the doctor I refused to push! The time came and only God can get props for giving me the strength to deliver that bouncing baby boy. I remember it being the most horrible pain I have ever experienced in my life, but cannot remember how terrible because feeling the love for that little guy know blocks out every bad image of that day, except one...

The caller you are trying to reach is not available...

Bryan and I have not always been the people we both are today. If you recall, we did meet in a bar. Bryan was a drinker. Looking back, I guess I should have taken more notice to the fact that drinking was Bryan's priority then and now here in 2004. I finally get in touch with Bryan after giving birth and being moved to our sleeping quarters for the next 2 days. Needless to say that was not a pleasant conversation. I had never felt so abandoned and alone and knowing he had chose drinking and his friends over me and our family. He then came home the next day from Iowa and after making a pit stop at our house to shower finally came to the hospital to meet our son. I was infuriated to even lay my eyes upon this man, this man who I had given my all to and to have him shred my trust and heart into a billion pieces. We left the hospital and went on with our lives. I shut my mouth and focused on our boys. Time passed and it eventually got buried deep down inside of me, leaving room for many more scars to come...